:: CrashMAG ::

Around 1am on Friday I get a phone call from my ex-g/f and she tells me she is with her girl T. at a bar. She asked me if I wanted to come on over first I decided against it, but then I decided otherwise since I haven’t seen T. in for ever and I couldn’t wait to get into a fight with my ex-g/f. At this point we talk for five (5) minutes and then the fight starts. It was freezing when I left the house. I called the girls back to figure out, in which bar they are hanging out. T. picked up the phone and she told me I should come on inside she can see me right now. While I was walking in I was just thinking shit T. is hot. I haven’t been around that girl in a long time, but damn she is fine. Shit, if I remember correctly last time… I saw her aroud Halloween. What a coincidence. Shortly after I got to that bar the girls decided to take me to a diff. bar, which was totally cool with me because I never been to that place ever.
We got into that bar and I bought two rounds of drinks. Actually I just paid for it and my ex picked up the drinks and gave them to T. and me. She got the second around and this is the point where my ex thought something happened, but I wasn’t supposed to know about it till next day. T. is standing infront of me, but she doesn’t realize that my ex is trying to giver her a drink. A little kick from the side but T. doesn’t realize that my ex is holding four drinks and a credit card between her teeth. Here comes the crazy part. This is my version “I touched T.’s back to get her attention, that somebody is standing behind her with the drinks".
The rest of the evening was pretty much BS. First we went to my place to get some drinks. After that we went to T’s b/f house, because he wanted to get some pot. Some more driving and we got to M’s house. At that point everything was cool, but I didn’t understand why we had to goes to M’s little quad. Shit everybody has a bigger place. Let’s put it in D’s word ‘Hey M., nice closet!". Sitting at my ex’s place was kinda weird I was leaning against the closet. T.’s b/f was sitting on her lap on this chair. M. was just sitting on the mattress. All three of them started smoking pot and I was drinking beer. Pot doesn’t do shit for me so I was just watching. At one point I decided to leave, because I had several clients on Saturday. T.’ gave me her car key, because I thought I left lost my cell in her car. After coming back upstairs I told them I couldn’t find it. T. gave me her phone so that I could call my number. This is kinda embarrassing, because the phone was right behind me. Strange I thought I checked that place. Again, I felt like leaving, because I was uncomfortable and I knew what I had to do the next day. I decided to walk back to my place. It’s like a 10 minute walk. T. told me she is leaving in 10 minutes and that she will give me a ride back to my place. We all three left and my ex said something like ‘Why are you leaving? Don’t call me when you get back to your place!". At that point I was confused, why should I call you when I get back to my place at 4am in the morning. So that you can bitch out my ass some more?
T. dropped me off at my place and I told the two good night. I stumbled thourgh my door way and I don’t know fom the point I got out of the car into my house … everything became… lol - diff. for some reason I was even able to get undressed and then I feel into my bed.
Thank god that I set my alarm clock, before I went out. At 10am the fuck started beeping and I felt like shooting the alarm clock. An hour later I got out of bed and I found myself drinking aspirin, taking a shower, taking vitamin pills and doing some other weird shit.
The blablabla of the day happened… some clients, some money, some more clients and again some more money.
Yesterday… or was it the day before I talked to my ex about the usual stuff. We talked great for the usual five (5) minutes and then the BS started again. After this major break up the two partners are getting pissy if somebody else pisses on your turf, which used to be yours. Of course I am not supposed to get mad that somebody is trying to get on my turf and actually somebody already pissed on it. She of course gets mad like hell, when she knows that I am just talking to a friend or shit like that. Anyway… let’s get this started.
You remember what I said about Friday night and seeing T.? M. brought the last round of drinks and I taped on T.’s back … Here comes the crazy part we talked about last night. I was told that my hand was going down her naked back, because I wanted to touch her. This was of course an unconscious move - that’s what I have been told; thank you Freud. Hy honest opinion about what happened? Nothing I taped her on her shoulder to let her know that somebody is holding your drink. Nothing special.
Of course I was told diff. shit and I got tired of defending myself, because she only believes what ever she wants to believe. As you can imagine the usual fight starts. Nothing ever changes.
Later on she called me back and said something about that T. and I once had something. So how is it that you can tell me to my face you are not attracted.
My statement: Yeah, she is hot but that’s it. - PAUSE - T. and I had something? Say what? So not true!
Of course I was told I was a laying son of a bitch and blablabla. M. told me the day she and I saw each other for the first time on the beach… I left the beach party and we went to the beach.
Now the honest truth… I so don’t remember shit that happened. T. almost ran into me with the ATV … that was the point when my senses came back. Honestly pinky swear - I don’t remember anything that happened.
Why did this come up? Well, M. saw us leaving the party and I don’t know at what point T. told her that … that’s the part I don’t know.
I mean shit… I must remember something - hohoho I remember I was pretty fucked up. hahah… anyway I am tired of writing.

peace
- happy Bday Cr0t

After one of my job sites yesterday my ex-g/f called and we talked a bit. Nothing really fancy, but shit. After my last job site I stopped by her place, because she wanted me to see her place. lol - I can’t build a sentence right now… I am still way to drunk - lol… damn it. So I drove back to my house and crazy D was on the phone. got… I can’t type… I am too drunk… I can’t think… I will.. fuck it

Everybody who reads this must think I am pathetic.
It’s Friday 11:14am and I just came back from school. My last midterm was over an hour ago and I got an A+.
D. is staying at my house right now, which totally results in chaos. He promissed me to clean up his mess, but of course nothing has happened so far.
Yesterday was my ex-g/f B-Day. It felt kinda weird.
This weekend is halloween and my plan to party with the Baccardi is not going to work out. The dude who was supposed to hock me up has an ear infection. Then this chick from one of my classes is probably going to ask me out. I am so not attracted to her, but as D. said “Maybe she has a cute sister… or friend". It’s not like I will try to get something going this weekend, but if get the opportunity do score… why not. Definitely not with her…
Monday is my and colyte’s B-Day. I don’t really feel like doing anything for my B-Day, but some people asked me out. This means I can’t ditch them now.
Conclusion: Why isn’t it already Tuesday? Who cares about the last couple of days and the future. The only thing I care about at this time is working and going to school. Let my mind go on diff. stuff.

-Cr0t

Crazy D. and I haven’t seen each other for weeks and yesterday he called me up. A couple of hours later he was standing in my house and of course he parked his car like a moron in my front yard. Half a case of Corona later my ex-g/f decided to show up to give me a box of my old shit. I went through that box and guess was… only shit like worthless shit screws, pens, an old PS2 modchip, scotch tape and some pictures of her an I. Yeah great, YES please, let me keep those pictures. I really wana put those pictures up. WTF? Maybe I should mention that today is her birthday. “Jackie Brown” was playing on my computer and she decided to watch that movie.
Another case of beer later… My ex got hungry and Dave cooked her something to eat, because of her birthday. I so don’t give a fuck about her birthday. WTF… why do you come over to my house on your birthday. Aren’t you supposed to hang out with your new guy? “Oh yes, but I don’t wana see him everyday. I want him to miss me - Well, that is great tell me more about it - Then during the fucking movie she did a couple of times ‘uuuh…. ahhh’ - This guy totally reminds me of my new guy - WTF? Do I wana hear that” Finally the movie was over and I kicked both of them out, because I had to go to bed. Actually it was more like I couldn’t take seeing her and every once in a while her phone was going off. She told everybody what her plan for her birthday is. First… blalbalb… and in the evening my date will take me out for dinner.
Gah… so they left. Not even a couple of minutes later I called her and asked her if I could come over. NOW… the fucked up PART. “Can you wake me up tomorrow?” Don’t ask me why I said that? I felt like an idiot even saying that. So stupid… so embarrassing. “Aehm… no because I am getting company”
D. came back to my house early in the morning and told me he just went over to her place and then he went out.
The moral of this story: Doesn’t exist… it’s just another fucked up night in my life. Fuck I hate this… I really do hate this. It’s fucking killing me. I was doing great yesterday. Really GREAT. No problems no nothing… then she showed back up we talked. Of course she started crying, because of several reasons. Why doesn’t she fuck the new guy and she will forget me, but nooooooooo show up at my house… call me… let’s talk about old times. Start crying woman… make me feel like a dig… give me the feeling ‘we should get back together’. Guess what, now today I am back to thinking about crap.

Just fuck the new guy

OK… I am going to set something up.

NO WOMEN FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!

*UpDate* : What I am saying is I don’t wana force anything at this point. If I am going to meet somebody… that would be great. If not at this point then it will happen later

*UpDate 2*: Everything I write is just a DRAFT. I don’t sit infront of my machine and read over and over again to fix it. Just so that it makes sense =)

*UpDate 3*: The host of this lovely domain wants to close down the domain. PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT!

Well, I gotta admit something. I fucked up pretty bad over the Summer. Let me explain what happened.
So this Summer break I spent my time in Europe with my friends and family. My ex-g/f already knew that this would be it for the both of us. Honestly I didn’t want it to be true, but on the other hand it was the best that ever could happen to me. We are just too diff. and she has too much stupid shit going on. I think I should back off, because the shit didn’t even come alone from her side. Something else I have to add, while I was in Europe I told everybody that it was over between her and me. Kinda a lie; I know, but the issue was that none of my family memebers and friends approved her. Why? Let’s call it by name she has two kids, no education, … and so on. You get the pattern.
Anyway I flew into GERMANY and the first two weeks were just flying by hanging out with my friends and stuff. I can barely remember what happened over the Summer, but I think it must have happened the last two weeks I was in GERMANY. You may ask yourself what happened, well I hocked up with that one chick, which was just an fucking accident. An accident? It’s not the usual we got drunk and before it happened it was already too later story. No, it wasn’t really like this at all. It was more like I don’t know I can’t explain is. The point is that on one night when I spent my time at a friends house I stayed up with her and we kept on talking. Anyway suddenly it just happened we were making out, but I didn’t do it. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t fuck her. I have two reasons, well it’s actually more one reason, because the other reason was for her.
Reason #1: I don’t fuck on the first date.
Reason #2: I had to think about my ex-g/f.
I really really felt bad after what I did. Man shit, I didn’t do anything, well gaeh not really true we got butt naked, but I didn’t fuck her. Anything else? YES, I really feel bad about it? Even tough I made up my mind to break up with her. This is one of those stupid vacation things that happen and that will totally fuck you up. It kinda did, because shit I gotta stop talking shit.
Let’s come clean… my buddy came to the USA and we kicked it pretty good. We had a blast… and then Seattle came. The trip up to Seattle was the shit … after we managed to get into a bar I met this cute bar tender chick and of course my ex-g/f at that point she was still my g/f. Anyway I was totally flirting with her and she was flirting with me… one shot followed the next, but again nothing happened. Something probaly would have happened if my at that point g/f would have been around. Of course she realized that I had a thing with the bar chick going on, she was a cutie she really was. My buddy was my totall wing-man. I remember we went shopping the next day. After he and I started talking about what happened last night we both started laughing… he earned his wings. *BG* This may sound mean and horrible. Of course my ex-g/f or at that point still g/f totally believed my wing-man.
I think I should back up even a little bit more. NO, not at this point let me just finish this real quick. This was still with the GERMAN dude. Me and my ex-g/f got into a fight as far as I remember. So… then my wing-man and I decided to go to the beach. Beer, sleeping bags, music, laptop… the usual shit. After our singing lession in the car we finally got to the beach and started drinking. Not much later we got bored and decided to hit back town. We weren’t drunk on our way back, but we started singing mad ass. Now comes the fucked up part. I called her up and said we are on our way back from the beach. That was kinda hard to forget I gave my buddy a sign and said listen to this. So I started telling her that we turned around, because I wanted to see you and my wing-man is kinda pissed, because we had a great time at the beach. My wing-man was laughing and saying why did you do that… that was so not true ‘… and this is how you get pussy tonight’. That was the thing I answered.
This must sound like I am a shovanistic pig, but I really used to love her.
When we met for the first time and shit… everything was great. Life couldn’t be any better. Do you know the feeling… falling in lofe. This wasn’t just falling in love. This was diff., but nothing last for ever, which is a shame, because if things would have been diff. we would have been for ever. I seriously believe that.
She and I went through some major shit and I think our character grew pretty strong, which I think is amazing. We both learned a lot from each other, but in the end it did not work.
Let me rewind a little bit more. Not this summer, but last years summer she and I spent some time in GERMANY. I was kinda scared if that was such a good idea, but it just came down to it. The major issue was that my parents heard about that-girl and they weren’t very impressed. The entire time in GERMANY pretty much sucked, well I am over exadurating. It just sucked that I had to look after her, because she can’t drink. I could never really relax. One more thing…. at this point I wana say sorry to every one I heard over the years. That means not talking to you… being a dick towards you… and all the other things my mind can’t come up right now. So if I offened YOU in the last two years please accept my apologizes!

-Cr0t

I know I haven’t written anything in a long time, but my life has an all time low. For some reason my life is totally breaking apart, this happened pretty much right after colyte sent me the username for this page.
For some reason I feel like crying 24/7…

As soon as my life levels out… I hope this will happen pretty soon then I will pwrite again… since then PEACE

-Cr0t =(

Friday: Since the point I came out of my discusion class my neck was hurting like hell and I could barely move. This was so weird, because most of the time you get this feeling after sleeping wrong. I just drove home and slept even tough the new girl asked me if I am going out this weekend and where I am going to be at. She is a cutie and I told her I will be at the *********************. Too bad I didn’t go, but my neck was killing me. Don’t start thinking I am a pussy… OKOKOK I am…

Saturday: I had to see this one client at 2pm who never showed up. This suxx it really does suck if you take your personal free time and that guy never shows up. Then again somebody asked me if I could help im at 4pm to move a car. Finally at 5pm I was back at my place and nothing was done so far. I had so many things planed for that day, but noooooooo can’t do. Finally at 7pm I was done doing my laundry and I went home. Ready to go out hopefully to see her, but then it happened. A friend of mine showed up and asked me if she could use my credit card to deposit her check. Sure no problem just come on back right away. Well, she did come back but she forgot the credit card in the machine and that means I had no money. This suxx again, because at that point I was totally fucked. Couldn’t do shit.
Hopefully I will get my Credit Card on Monday.

Sunday: That’s today… I slept till a little bit after noon. Actually my cat woke up me up. After I made a big breakfast and the usual shit you do in the morning I finally went to the lib to get some school stuff done. Some girl asked me on Saturday if I wana have lunch with her on Sunday, but of course she didn’t show up.

Conclusion: I don’t know what’s up right now. Two weeks ago I had pussy left and right sticking out. Always had a good time, but not right now. Nothing but problems and I can’t even keep one girl around me. I think I need a new tactic!

Peace,
-Cr0t

Just a little update in between. I met this really cool chick, but as soon as she starts talking I feel like punching her in the face, because her voice is just… god just thinking about it makes me angry.
She looks good and has a nice smile… it’s too bad that she likes to talk. Her voice is just a pain!

-Cr0t

Sup,

I am not dead, but nothing is going on at this point.
The new latop I was supposed to get is as FUBAR as it gets.
Finally, I got a new Car.
School is kinda busy, but I know today will be a very busy day.
Everything else goes as it’s supposed to go.
Sorry, hopefully after this weekend I got something to tell.

-Cr0t

My weekend was pretty much fucked up. Nothing has happened I mean NOTHING.
Friday: This one girl asked me if I wanted to go out with her and her friend. I agreed to, but she called me up later and said she had to work longer. Her job is pretty fucked up, because she never knows for how long she has to work. Anyway after she finally got of work she called me up and said that she has to fix something on the computer. She knows a little bit about computer systems. On the phone she told me that she will come over to my house with a case of beer and tomorrow, which would have been Saturday we would hit a club. So around 1:30am she calls me up and says that she wants to see me even tough she is at a party right now.
I didn’t get pissed that she was suddenly at a party at the place where she was supposed to fix a computer and wooooooooow suddenly out of the blue their is a party going on. So… I blew her off and told her to tell me the truth about you-wana-see-me-but-then-I-decide-not-to. It’s a little bit more complicated then that…
Am I angry? No, not at all.
Saturday: After driving around and getting some stuff done I finally got to the UO lib. Several hours later after my studing was done…. I got home =)
I bought some bottles of RUM and this time I ditched her just to let her feel, how fucked up it’s to tell me she is coming over and then no I am not coming.
Oh shit… I almost forgot. I took that evening all my bottles and cans back, which I had at my house. So I got to SafeWay and got two bottles of Coke after returning all those bottles and cans I had to pay $1.29 or something like it. I swiped my card and that stupid machine didn’t take my Card. That was so fucking embarrassing… people behind me where looking stupid at me like I don’t have a $1. The bitch said I think you don’t have enough money on that card. I said ‘This, what you are doing is so embarrassing! I have on this card $12.000+ so make your stupid machine work ‘ She kept on telling me that I don’t have the funds.
I left and gave the store the finger. Of course I went to my computer right away and checked the balance… and guess what +$11.374. So can anyone please tell me WTF was going on?
Sunday aka NOW: Finished up some more sitting in the UO lib, but finally at this point I am done and ready to go home. Actually, I am at work right now, because I had some unfinished buisness. The idea for the rest of the night is to go home cook some food and have a drink.
For no reason I have some really cool drink mix…

- Cr0t

So anyway… after bugging and bugging colyte finally decided to fix his homepage. Cause … he has a domain with nothing on it, so I decided since I always have crazy shit going on in my life to post it somewhere.
One more thing all the Names I am going to use on this HomePage are not going to be real … so that I don’t get my ass kicked after posting some shizznet.
Oh… last thing before I forget obscenity/typos/sex/grammar/alk/unix and other stuff … this is what you will get from me.

Peace,
-Cr0t - my first message

Welcome to CrashMAG.net